Cheri-Anne Rougier
By Cheri-Anne Rougier
What’s in forgiveness anyway? And, why should we forgive someone who has hurt us so deeply that it’s impossible to forget?
Because it’s frees us.
Perhaps you’ve heard the old saying, “I can forgive but not forget.” No such thing exists! It’s impossible to forgive but not forget…do you know why? Because the very act of forgiveness demands that you act as if the thing had never happen. If you have forgiven but not forgotten it’s like licking an old wound. Every time you remember it will also remind you of the pain, and the pain will remind you to resent and resentment will remind you to hate and hate will remind you
to be angry….You get the picture.
Jeremiah 31:34b God speaks to Israel by saying to them. “For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” Why is God sending this message, that He will remember their sin no more? Because forgetting is like an eraser, if it doesn’t exist anymore then there is no need for punishment. You cannot apply punishment to someone for something that you forgot they did. And in the book of Isaiah 43:25 God says, “I, even I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake and I will not remember your sins.”
If God can forgive us of our most vile acts against Him surely we too can forgive others. Is it easy? No! But if you want to live in the freedom of Christ then we must find a way to do so.
Forgiveness is the most powerful and potent self-medication one can prescribe for his or herself, and the amazing part about it is that it has no negative side effects and it’s absolutely free. Forgiveness heals, restores and delivers the soul.
I am talking about forgiveness for yourself as well as others. Let’s face it; sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves.
One of the most powerful messages in the Bible is on the topic of forgiveness. God’s forgiveness for all of mankind is a perfect example for us, because He understood what it would do for us. It is His forgiveness of our sins that allowed Him to sacrifice Himself through His Son Jesus Christ for the remission of our sins, and what it did for us was that it delivered us from the weight or the burden of those sins. And our Lord’s sacrifice gave us the freedom to have fellowship with Him, go into His presence with Him again, freeing us from the bondage of our own sins.
Forgiveness is wonderful in many capacities, but it remains one of the areas that many Christians still struggle with today. It’s difficult to forgive someone who has caused us pain, and yet that was exactly what Jesus had to do. The wonderful aspect of forgiveness as I mentioned before is that it’s entirely up to you. It’s not something that needs a doctor’s visit to get a prescription…why you can prescribe it in your own home and apply it immediately with instantaneous results.
It took me about 30 years to forgive someone very close to me who had hurt me. I didn’t even realize that it was such a burden until the day I forgave that person. I discovered in one of my Bible study classes that by holding a 30-year grudge I was limiting God in my life.
My first reaction was anger. After all, how could God expect me to forgive someone like that…didn’t He know what that person did to me? Then I experienced denial. I thought that my inability to forgive was not limiting God in my life–that’s just ridiculous! I clung to stubborn pride.
Then, one day, someone handed me a Bible, with the following quote underlined: “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive you in your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25) How could I dismiss the very Word of God staring at me…in red ink? I made up my mind that day to forgive that person and the amazing thing is that I never said a word to the person, I decided in my heart. Almost immediately our relationship changed for the better…and I was able to love the person again and truly appreciate them in my life.
Peter is another great example on forgiveness. Here is a man who walked with Jesus daily, was there for some of the most private moments in the life of Jesus. He ate with Him, drank with Him and traveled together. Jesus places a great amount of trust in Him. On one occasion When Jesus asked His disciples who did men say He was they gave Him all sorts of answers but He asked them who do you say that I am? It was Peter who answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus said to him, “Flesh and blood has not revealed this to you but My Father who is in heaven. And I say unto you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church…”
Still, with all that, Peter did the unthinkable. When Jesus was in His most difficult moment in His life, Peter denied ever being with Him or knowing Him. Peter denied Him. Could He be forgiven for something like that? Every day he had to live with what he did. Not only that but I’m sure the disciples eventually found out. Would they be able to forgive him or trust him again?
Jesus understood Peter’s calamity, for him to be the great disciple He called him to be, Peter was going to have to be restored and Jesus was going to have to let Him know that all was forgiven and forgotten. Reading the scriptures I can imagine how Peter must have felt being in the company of Jesus after His resurrection. The guilt and shame he must have carried inside, and the love and compassion that Jesus also carried for him. I can imagine the thoughts that must have gone through Peter’s mind. He must have been at his lowest point in his life.
And yet Our Lord’s compassion prevailed. After breakfast, Jesus took him aside and asked him, “Simon son of Jonah, do you love me more than these?” Peter answers, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus asks a second time, “Simon son of Jonah, do you love me?” Again Peter answers, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus asks a third time, “Simon, son of Jonah do you love me?” This time it grieved him. Peter understood what Jesus was doing for him, the love that He still had for him, in spite of what he had done. Peter said, “Lord you know all things; you know that I love you. Peter was saying to Jesus you know my heart, that I am sorry for what I did, and the love I still have for you even though I denied you; it’s still in my heart. Forgive me because of my love for you.”
Peter was never the same again.
As this is the holiday season, the season of giving and receiving, why don’t you give the gift of forgiveness? Think of the people who have harmed you the most including yourself and make the decision to release yourself and others from that great burden you’ve been walking around with for so long. You can even write a note and place it in a beautiful gift box under the Christmas tree. This Christmas I forgive myself. You don’t even have to wait you can do it right now and experience the true joy of the holiday season free from strive, hate, anger, depression, oppression and forgiveness.
This is Christmas…having the spirit of Christ which is the spirit of forgiveness. Happy holidays!
Happy Holy Days!
Cheri-Anne Rougier is a Contributor to The Christian Journal and also a Pastor and Founder of Life Water Inc. a non-profit organization that provides water to rural areas in Africa and the Caribbeans. You can visit her website at www.life-water.org
